I grew up with two younger brothers and spent the first ten years of my life wishing for a little sister. Then, I realized that I hated girl drama and I was glad that I didn't have any sisters so that I could avoid all of that at home.
When my first daughter was born almost two years ago, I was elated. We didn't know until she was born whether she would be a boy or a girl. I would have been happy either way, but I secretly wanted a girl.
When I got pregnant with my second daughter, the idea of having two girls so close in age terrified me. When I realized that they would be only a year apart in school, I cried. My friend who have sisters tried to tell me that having sisters was awesome and they wouldn't really fight, but I remember those same friends having terrible fights with their sisters growing up. Fights far worse than any I ever had with my brothers.
So now I have two little girls, nineteen months apart in age. For right now, things are good. Maggie can't get enough of her little sister. When Lucy cries, Maggie is the first one there to comfort her. I always find little toys or treasures in Lucy's swing or bouncer that Maggie leaves there for her.
I'm also worried that I'm not girly enough to have girls. I'm not a tomboy, but I am not into a lot of girly things. I hate getting my hair cut, I've only gotten one pedicure in my life and that was more than enough for the next ten years. I can't even put eyeliner on correctly. I know that I will be able to teach them to be strong, independent powerful women. It's the other things that worry me.
Tonight while I was sitting on the floor reading bedtime stories to Maggie while breastfeeding Lucy, Maggie stopped me and asked me to unzip the top of her pj's so that she could breastfeed her doll. Moments like that make me think that I am going to do just fine raising my little girls.